And So It Begins

Greetings from my local coffee shop. I am typing this entry on my phone because I thought this place had free wifi and it turns out you have to pay for it. So since I am not going to do that let me apologize now for any misspelled words and aweful grammer.

With that being said hAaappyg NeW yeer! :-) OK, for real this time Happy New Year! Another year come and gone. Well classes started up again this past Monday. The morning before class started my gf had just gotten home from work (she is a peds nurse), and she asked me how I was feeling about classes started again. I was honestly having mixed feelings. Besides the fact that my stomach was upset because it had not required to work before 12pm over break, I was excited, anxious, sad, eeger, and scared outta my mind. I was sad because I knew that school starting up meant that the time I would get to spend with my gf, and friends, was going to be cut extremely short again. It was going to go back to seeing eachother for maybe an hour or so over dinner, if we are LUCKY!

I was excited and eeger because it meant that we would be working and getting closer to graduating. Also this semester we start mentoring. What that basically means is that for one half day a week we work/follow a PA or doc and actually get to start seeing patients and practicing exam skills we know and taking patient histories, and even practice writing orders and diagnosing patients! However, this is also the source of my feeling of anxiety and fear. Wait, you mean you are sending me out into the world?!? Hold it, you want me to see REAL patients and practice on them!?! Hang on, you want me to show my mentor what I am made of and be aggressive enough and put myself in situations that give me opportunities to do this!??! O....K... Ill do my best.

Lets be honest here folks, this is sorta terrifying lol. What if I look like a complete putz and leave my mentor wondering, "Is this kid really in PA school?" What if the patients I see think I am a fool and ask to see the actual PA/doc because I clearly do not know what I am doing? Am I ready for this? I guess I better get ready, because ready or not they are sending me out. If you get sick don't go to the clinic for awhile! :-)

To be honest, I do have those things running in my head, but I am honestly excited and, I believe, ready to get my hands dirty (so to speak). I have been told that it gets better and the more you DO the more comfortable you become. However, I've also been told that if you are not somewhat aggressive it is really to just sit back and sit in the corner watching and never doing. However, that isn't going to help anything. I WANT to get more confident. I WANT to get more comfortable, and I WANT to look back on my mentoring and know that I got out of it everything I could, and sisnt waste any opportunity or chance to learn and improve.

Well, we don't start that for a couple of weeks. Right now there is a more pressing issue and that is that we got a great welcome back gift from our program. We started dermatology, guess what the 'gift' was? Hey, welcome back, how was your break? here's your derm book and oh yea you have A WEEK to learn it, test is next Monday! Talk about not wasting any time, huh? Oh well, what better way to get back into study mode than being forced to learn an entire system in a week? Do you think some of PA school is like an initiation process, kinda like a gang where you get beat up for awhile before they let you in or a frat with hell week? ;-)

Anyway, its too bad that derm is only a week. Not just because I have no idea how I am going to learn this stuff in a week, but because the prof that is teaching this module is awesome! We don't get to have him teach us often because of his heavy involvement in the AAPA, and it sucks because he is a great guy and teacher. Oh well, I guess that's life right?

Until next time, hang in there, keep pushing forward and doing your best, that's all anyone can ask of you.

M-R